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More to appease (yeah, right) the creationists



I had fun reading the "Biblically Correct" history of Earth posted
here recently.  Perhaps I'm irreverent, but I can't help adding a
few important details near the beginning that they left out:

October 26, 4004 B.C., 9:00 A.M. (Eastern Standard Time): God
says, "Let there be light", and there was the Big Bang.  God's
initial response is "Not THAT much light!!!"  Nevertheless, He
proceeds to create the fundamental particles and to separate
Gravity from the other three forces, ending the Quantum-Gravity
Epoch.  He separates the light from the dark; He calls the light
"Cosmic Background Radiation", and the dark he calls "Dark
Matter".  And the eve and the morning of the first 10^-43 second.

November 1, 4004 B.C.: God tells his state-of-the-art invention,
Man, to "have dominion over every living thing", never suspecting
to what disastrous extent Man would later take His words to
heart.

November 2, 4004 B.C.: A Younginaformes Eosuchian is punished by
God for persuading Adam and Eve to eat the Forbidden Primeval
Angiosperm by being evolved into the first belly-crawling snake.

November 3, 4004 B.C.: God continues his vengeance by denying
women the vote and vowing never to explain to Man how he managed
to create Day and Night two days before the sun.  Eden is
officially closed for business.

November 4, 4004 B.C.: God, now on a roll vengeance-wise, further
punishes man by inventing extinction.  He then takes out his rage
on Opabinia and Hallucigenia by making them the first to die out. 
He also decides to torment the world with bloodthirsty predators
and so for the occasion invents T. rex, Velociraptor, Dimetrodon,
Anteosaurus, Dinichthys, Kronosaurus, Smilodon, and the domestic
dog.


                    -- Dave