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[Tim, I still think this is stretching it, but since you're
determined... If anybody wants to repeat the following joke, I think
you should add in a wall of sand bears. -- MR ]
A pack of velociraptors were speeding across the Gobi desert.
Suddenly the leader detected an alluring smell in the air. Blood!
The other raptors smelled it too and cried out in excitement. This
had been a bad day for hunting and they were famished. The whole
pack wheeled around and headed in the direction of the smell.
The pack came upon one of their own kind - an old raptor sitting
under the shade of tree, licking fresh blood of his hide. The raptor
pack began hassling him, wanting to know where he got it from.
The old raptor told them to piss off and let him get some rest, but
they persisted. Finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and led them through the desert, winding
through the sand dunes, until they reached the crest of a small hill.
There the old raptor stopped, and all the other raptors excitedly
milled around him.
"Now, do you see that ravine over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the raptors all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good," said the old raptor, "Because I f***ing didn't!"
[ In the original version it was vampire bats, a forest and an unseen
tree. It's probably funnier that way... but in that guise I
wouldn't let Tim send it through. -- MR ]