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Puns (not for the timid) [joke]



I came up with a few puns today, and there aren't many venues where
I can share them without long explanations. So you are all chosen for
the world premiere of these -- ahem -- jewels:

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If Charlie "Bird" Parker, the great jazz musician, really were a bird, then on
each of his wings you would find a genuine "bebop alula."

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If Steven Czerkas had a son, named Montgomery, who followed his father's
career, and produced a sculpture of Quetzalcoatlus (named, of course, after
the Aztec "Feathered Serpent" God), that sculpture would inevitably come to
be called, "Monty Czerkas' Flying Python."

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Finally, there was Dr. Morris, a zoologist who spent his entire life studying
cats. He observed them all, from housecat to Bengal tiger, ocelot to jaguar
to caracal. He always kept cats as house pets, and enjoyed watching how
their behaviors mimic in miniature the actions of their full-size cousins.
        But when his sixtieth birthday came, he ended it all. Resigned his
position at the university, gave his entire works away, and found new homes
for his house cats. Then he retired to a house in the country and took up
beekeeping.
        A few years later he was interviewed by a reporter, who was curious
about the abrupt change in his interests. "Dr. Morris," she asked gently,
"Some people say it's aged you suddenly, giving up your cat studies. Do
you ever think of returning to them?"
        "Ridiculous!" the old scientist snorted derisively. "I don't felidae 
over
sixty!"

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Yes, I made all of these up myself, today. No, I'm not sorry! But if Steve or
Sylvia Czerkas contacted me personally, I might be persuaded to apologize...

I don't mind if you redistribute these *things*, but please keep my name on 'em.
Thank you.


        Wayne Anderson