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Yuks of the day (joke)



Here's a good one;

>Comments from test papers, essays, etc. submitted to science and health
>teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students:
>
>-- H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water
>-- To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube
>-- When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide
>-- Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.  Oxygin is pure gin.
>Hydrogin is gin and water
>-- The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars
>-- Blood flows down one leg and up the other
>-- Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
>expectoration
>-- The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader
>-- Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of
>the bull
>-- Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them
>perspire
>-- A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold
>-- Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas
>-- The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects
>-- The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
>the outsides have been taken off.   The purpose of the skeleton is something
>to hitch meat to
>-- A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two
>molars, and eight cuspidors
>-- The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.  All water tends
>towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a
>vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight
>-- A fossil is an extinct animal.  The older it is, the more extinct it is
>-- Equator:  a managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa
>-- Germinate:  to become a naturalized German
>-- Liter:  a nest of young puppies
>-- Magnet:  something you find crawling all over a dead cat
>-- Momentum:  What you give a person when they are going away
>-- Planet:  a body of earth surrounded by sky
>-- Rhubarb:  a kind of celery gone bloodshot
>-- Vacuum:  a large, empty space where the pope lives
>-- Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative
>or negative
>-- To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose
>-- For a nosebleed:  put the nose much lower then the body until the heart
>stops
>-- For dog bite:  put the dog away for several days.  If he has not
>recovered, then kill him
>-- For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your
>throat
>-- To keep milk from turning sour:  keep it in the cow