[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index][Subject Index][Author Index]

An excerpt from mini-AIR Jan 97 [joke]



PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE

The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1997-01
January, 1997
ISSN 1076-500X

-------------------------------------------------------------
1997-01-12      Scientific Correctness: Dino Survey Results

Thank you to everyone who participated in the first of our
SCIENTIFIC CORRECTNESS SURVEYS to establish the correct answers to
heated scientific controversies. This first question is now
settled. The lion and the lamb, the preacher and the politician,
the spider and the fly -- all can now walk hand in hand (or other,
analogous appendage), in harmonious agreement.
Here are the results, of the vote:

33% Dinosaurs and man walked together less than 10,000 years ago.
30% Dinosaurs became extinct before the first humans existed.
23% Dinosaurs and man walked together millions of years ago.
09% Humans became extinct before the first dinosaurs existed.
02% Declined, or were unable, to express an opinion
02% Agreed with all of the choices listed above
01% Dinosaurs and man walked together, but it was purely platonic.

Investigator Thomas B. Roos reports that he plans to use this
survey in future exams at Dartmouth College.

Investigator J. Mohler reports, "As documented in the comic strip
"Alley Oop", while dinosaurs and humans coexisted during
prehistoric times, they rarely if ever walked together. When they
were going in the same direction, the human invariably choose to
ride."

Investigator John J. Lannutti concludes that, currently,
"dinosaurs mostly fly while man mostly walks."

Investigator Jim Culter concludes that dinosaur bones were placed
in the fossil strata 10,000 years ago in order to confuse and
mislead 20th century scientists, and that dinosaurs never actually
existed.

Investigator Frank Stephan raises a concern common to the German
scientific community, in reporting, "This vote is placed in the
belief, that alligators do not count as dinosaurs in spite of the
fact that these two species are relatives. But in this case it was
more a hating than loving relationship."


-------------------------------------------------------------