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Unbelievable New Ghost Ranch Finds (joke)
Ghost Ranch, New Mexico (embargoed until 10/31/98)
Dr. Dave Alsaynts of Cape Town University announced today the
discovery of several new dinosaurs.
Hollow _Einiosaurus_ bones were found in association with seeds,
fibers and a waxy coating. Slices are being CAT-scanned.
_Celinedeinonychus_ - Fossilized heart found preserved several meters
beyond the skeleton. Strong indication of catastrophic flood event, with
water seepage into the chambers, although specimen probably had
been previously smothered.
_Armageddodon_ - Large holes evident when plotting the find. Long,
slow-moving but destructive tail.
_Pamandersonia_ - A broadbreasted, primitive-brained brooder.
_Bradpsittacosaurus_ - One male and several adolescent females
found in this grouping.
_Edmontoclintonia_ - Found under elliptical dung heap, which the
animal seems to have fallen into but elected not to climb out of.
_Kenstyraccosaurus_ - Discovered in association with the
Edmontoclintonia. Likely another "fighting specimens." Death
pose suggestive of an independent ambush predator.
_Caudiptertripp_ - Claws from this specimen found embedded in
the backs of several other dinosaurs in the bonebed.
_Mickeoraptorowe_ - "Dawn List Owner" Large thread-killing claw.
_Pawpawlajones_ (paw paw la HOE ness) - Extraordinarily long
snout, respiratory turbinates preserved. An early Duck Bill.
_Protarchaeopterwich_ - Gliding flyer, pointed head crest, found
_Lewinskylosaur_ - Robust, with a deep throat pouch, lips and
cheeks. Paleo artists adding these ex/internal features to their
Reported by Mary