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Mars Rock Contains Dinosaur Fossil (joke)



April 1, 1999 - First Universal News

The Jurassic Propulsion Laboratory announced today that a second 
Mars rock has been located in Antarctica, containing a fully articulated 
skeleton similar to _Tyrannosaurus rex_.  Theropod expert Thomas R. 
Holtz, Jr. said in a telephone interview, "EEEK!!" and "Yikes," further 
adding that the discovery advances dinosaur science a "buttload."

The transfer of ejecta when bolides hit the Earth and Mars more than
65 million years ago may be evidence of either convergent evolution, 
with dinosaurs developing simultaneously on Mars, or that dinosaurs 
evolved on Earth and then migrated to Mars, using feather-like structures 
which previously were thought to be used for brooding, display or insulation. 
Oregon State University researchers said, "What you have is a turbocharged 
reptile."

How dinosaurs could have developed from a secondarily space-flightless
condition to defy Earth's gravitational pull was explained by Wright 
Brothers heir Jim Cunningham.  "The 'aerodynamic drag' of wing feathers 
could be expected to be on the loose order of 3-8% of the 'aerodynamic 
lift' the feathers were producing.  This is exclusive of the induced drag of 
the wing feathers, which for a given airspeed is a function only of lift and 
aspect ratio."

Paleontologist Ralph Chapman, asked if he thought that dinosaurs had
evolved exclusively on Earth, commented, "No, I didn't, I think it was 
easily a good argument for the other side so I was not convinced."  He
mused [on the dinosaurs' method of achieving escape velocity], "?the 
evidence is, IMHO, still decent for head butting as a good possibility." 

However, Oregon State scientists argued that the "hepatic piston" liver 
structure in the fossil was actually the source of power, with the dinosaur
digits forming the 5-4-3-2-1 liftoff configuration.  

The new dinosaur will be named _Tyrannanoonanoo takmetoyorleder_.

Reported by Mary Kirkaldy
mkirkaldy@aol.com