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DML Census - April 1, 2000
The Dinosaur Mailing List is required to hold a census every 10 years. It is
mandatory that subscribers answer the following questions, returning the form
1. As of April 1, 2000, how many mammals, reptiles, birds or others in your
household write to the dinosaur list?
2. Your family tree cladogram contains a) reversals and convergence, b) an LCA
featured in zoology textbooks, b) an evolutionary deadend.
3. How often do you read the dino list at the office while you are supposed to
4. When you hear the name Mickey, do you think of a) that mouse, b) an unseen
dino list deity?
5. Would you classify yourself as a) a theropod, b) a sauropod, c) an
invertebrate, d) an undescribed new lifeform.
6. Have you ever met any of the other dino list members? Do you have any
information or pictures of them that you have tried to auction?
7. Do you bury bones in your backyard and dig them up years later? Have you
bonded with your dog through this activity?
8. If you were able to go back to the Cretaceous, would you a) unobtrusively
observe the flora and fauna, disturbing nothing, b) become a light snack, c)
Bruce Willis that blasted comet.
9. If you have children, are their names Latinized?
10. Can you estimate a car's speed by looking at the tire tracks?
11. Have you ever asked your dentist to give you a) peglike caps, b)
steakknife caps, c) a battery of cheesegrater molars?
12. Do you or have you ever tried to walk quadrupedally?
13. Do you regularly describe yourself as a) bigger, b) nastier, c) faster
than anyone else?
14. Would you say that your hairstyle is a) feathery, b) integumentary, c)
dissected or teased collagen fibers.
15. Do you have gout or unexplained healed or unhealed pathologies?
16. Does someone else feed you?
17. Do you think that the eggs in your refrigerator are being stolen or have
18 Would you rather that an entrée be served with the skull still attached?
19. Do you often feel that your tail is dragging?
20. Are you a) an artist, b) writing a book, c) both.
21. Has arm waving resulted in liftoff for your career?
22. Does biting seem to you to be a perfectly good bar fight strategy?
23. How many times have you migrated?
24. To unsubscribe from the dino list, you a) swallow iridium, b) copy
everyone on the list asking how, c) wait for the next open extinction event?
Thank you for your cooperation.