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The bi-yearly offer to make the accurate dino film
Once again it seems to be time to make my roughly bi-yearly offer to
any one of you....
The Perfect Scientifically Accurate Dinosaur Movie.
It can be perfectly accurate exactly the way the YOU see it in your
All you have to do is send me 150 million dollars and I will make the
I'm experienced, I have the credits (films I've produced have grossed
million dollars, yes, really, I'm not making it up to impress you). All
is the budget in hard cold cash.
Those poor sunzabytches in Hollywood have to make enough money to feed
families and pay for those expensive lunchs, so, of course, they make
(that is... made up stories about not-real animals) films that
great unwashed masses, 'cause otherwise, they will never get their money
and all those people in LA who make their livings this way will starve.
have learned through hard cold experience that critters with long teeth
more money than critters with short teeth. After all, how many people
nature documentaries on Discovery channel or even read the journal
begin with as compared with the number of uneducated slobs who go to see
Now.. YOU can be in control! Because you will control the writing of
movie, the size of the animals, the making of the movie, making the
distributing the movie and won't have to make single penny that old
capitalism won't have a thing to say about all this. And things can be P
E R F
E C T. (Provided, naturally, that there's not some other scientist out
who thinks that you're wrong and opens their mouth about it in print).
The funny thing is, that I make this offer almost every year and so far,
has ever taken me up on it. And every year there is this endless string
complaints about "raptors" and animals that are too big or too small or
smart or too something. I don't get it. I mean, who could pass up an
opportunity like this????
Write or call right away!
By the way, for the satirically challenged amonst us, this is meant with
kindness in my heart and a smile on my lips. But, hey, if you give me
money, I'll REALLY make the movie. Can't wait. I've spent years trying
money to make my own projects, so I'll be almost as happy to jump in and
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