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Re: Test of Tyrannosaurus speed-a modest proposal



     We need 3 people for the experiment.  How about we take a jeep (we can't afford to waste a land rover!) give it a big fake tail, a dorky looking head attach to the front, and 3 floppy rubber legs on the side.  

      There will a person in the back making annoying imitations of the sound of a wounded hadrosaur (the more annoying the better) on a bull horn and will wiggle the back legs.  The driver can be anyone sober and can work the left leg.  And another person who keeps track of speed and records data, with no fake leg to operate he/she can record data more easily.  I can see the person in the back with a big stopper rifle but that is optional.  
      Playing N' Sync songs or doing Peewee Herman Laughs instead would also work, but the whole fauna might team up to kill us so......  

      Now the whole vehicle will be strongly scented like an old gassy Anatotitan or something.  Upon spotting a Tyrannosaurus we will let it come within 10 feet of the jeep so we can take pictures and off we go!  

Hazards in this experiment includes, but is not limited to:

1.  Wrecking the jeep on big dung heaps.
2.  Annoying calls may backfire resulting in a big Anatotitan rubbing and "dancing"          
    around our jeep for some reason.
3.  N 'Sync songs are considered to be last resort in case all else fails (yelling and
    giving big T the bird).
4.  Peewee Herman impressions might attract us a friendly but goofy little T .rex who
    has the same peculiar laugh, not good.  This is why the big stopper rifle is
    needed.  
5.   Other "big" predators attacking us.

This experiment is costly: the jeep, fake limbs, and the tail and head not to mention the rifle.  So we might just send Horner out in a Barney costume with that annoying little Barney song playing.  
"Horner:  You see the Tyrannosaurus isn't attacking me, it wasn't a predator!
Tyrannosaurus:  GGRRRRUUUUHHHH(Chomp!)
Horner: I stand corrected...(tips over)"