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New Discovery Illumines

Dinosaurs are not the only field in which a new discovery can 
provide a leap of understanding.  Recently a letter from Laertes 
to Ophelia has been dug up which has changed and deepened our 
understanding of these characters, including Hamlet himself.
For those who haven't read Shakespeare's play lately, Hamlet 
was one of those people who drift within a university community, 
taking many years to assert themselves and assemble enough credits 
to complete their degree.
The following is a rough translation. 

Things are not going well at Wurtemberg these days.  The professors 
have not been paid for some time, and have taken to breaking 
into student rooms to steal items they can sell. They will not 
find much here, for I have pawned all my possessions for food. 
Even as I write I hold my sword arm across the door, though this 
serves only to enrage the professors of mathematics and geology 
on the other side. Oh Ophelia, they have broken through and I 
may have to interrupt this note to fend off the  assaults of 
sword and stone.    
But hold! Hamlet has slid across the threshold, sword drawn, 
and beaten back the mathematician, who takes a compass from his 
belt and attacks armed on each hand.    While Hamlet and I drive 
them off, the geologist has taken the lamp, so this note must 
cease when they have receded down the hall, bearing our only 
But Hamlet has begun a chant in the ancient Greek  for consolation: 
 toga, toga, toga...    
Good-bye Ophelia, I feel the frenzy call. 

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