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New Discovery Illumines
Dinosaurs are not the only field in which a new discovery can
provide a leap of understanding. Recently a letter from Laertes
to Ophelia has been dug up which has changed and deepened our
understanding of these characters, including Hamlet himself.
For those who haven't read Shakespeare's play lately, Hamlet
was one of those people who drift within a university community,
taking many years to assert themselves and assemble enough credits
to complete their degree.
The following is a rough translation.
Things are not going well at Wurtemberg these days. The professors
have not been paid for some time, and have taken to breaking
into student rooms to steal items they can sell. They will not
find much here, for I have pawned all my possessions for food.
Even as I write I hold my sword arm across the door, though this
serves only to enrage the professors of mathematics and geology
on the other side. Oh Ophelia, they have broken through and I
may have to interrupt this note to fend off the assaults of
sword and stone.
But hold! Hamlet has slid across the threshold, sword drawn,
and beaten back the mathematician, who takes a compass from his
belt and attacks armed on each hand. While Hamlet and I drive
them off, the geologist has taken the lamp, so this note must
cease when they have receded down the hall, bearing our only
But Hamlet has begun a chant in the ancient Greek for consolation:
toga, toga, toga...
Good-bye Ophelia, I feel the frenzy call.
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