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Re: Feduccia et al: No Evidence Fossil Feathers Are Really Feathers

>   Oct. 10, 2005 -- No. 477
> Latest study: scientists say no evidence exists
> that therapod dinosaurs evolved into birds
> UNC News Services
> CHAPEL HILL -- No good evidence exists that fossilized structures 
> found in 
> China and which some paleontologists claim are the earliest known 
> rudimentary feathers were really feathers at all, a renowned 
> ornithologist 
> says.

In other news, Reuters reports that a man in western Washington state
awoke this morning to discover a group of winged monkeys crawling around
in his pajama bottom.  Phil Bigelow, a science aficionado, said that he
was "rather surprised" to see the winged primates crawl out of his
pajamas while he was putting on his clothes.  "They [the monkeys] just
sort of looked at me silently for a few seconds and then they started to
fly around the bedroom."  A wine rack was reported to have been tipped
over in the mayhem, spilling approximately 20 bottles onto the floor. 
Mr. Bigelow said he then opened a window to let the creatures escape.  He
later called police.  "At first, the authorities didn't believe me, but
when I showed them the monkey stains on the seat of my pajama bottom and
the wine bottles on the floor, the cops started to treat me with the
respect and dignity that I deserved."

When asked about the incident, police had no comment.  A police spokesman
appeared good natured and he silently smiled to reporters as he entered
the precinct headquarters.

Bigelow said that he had stayed up late the night before the incident. 
"I was reading the latest paper by Alan Feduccia, and I wanted to finish
it before I went to sleep."  He said he didn't notice anything unusual as
he drifted off.

"Who knew that flying monkeys existed?  Not me", Bigelow mused to
reporters.  "I can only surmise that they weren't in my PJs when I went
to bed last night.  Perhaps they flew out of my @ss while I slept."

Renowned ornithologist Alan Feduccia expressed support for the claims and
added, "The recent discovery of monkeys that fly out of people's rear
ends is the nail in the coffin for the Birds Are Dinosaurs theory",
Feduccia said.  "The evolution of powered flight was complex and
multi-threaded.  The discovery of flying Butt Monkeys has just moved the
stakes in this scientific debate to a new level."