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Re: Feduccia et al: Feathers --> Bigelow

Remember--a good scientist always keeps an open mind.
Btw, i've heard that people with flying butt monkeys 
often later develop something much worse--crawling 
butt porcupines.  So, you might want to get those 
things looked at.

--- Phil Bigelow <bigelowp@juno.com> wrote:

> >   Oct. 10, 2005 -- No. 477
> > 
> > Latest study: scientists say no evidence exists
> > that therapod dinosaurs evolved into birds
> > 
> > UNC News Services
> > 
> > CHAPEL HILL -- No good evidence exists that fossilized
> structures 
> > found in 
> > China and which some paleontologists claim are the
> earliest known 
> > rudimentary feathers were really feathers at all, a
> renowned 
> > ornithologist 
> > says.
> In other news, Reuters reports that a man in western
> Washington state
> awoke this morning to discover a group of winged monkeys
> crawling around
> in his pajama bottom.  Phil Bigelow, a science
> aficionado, said that he
> was "rather surprised" to see the winged primates crawl
> out of his
> pajamas while he was putting on his clothes.  "They [the
> monkeys] just
> sort of looked at me silently for a few seconds and then
> they started to
> fly around the bedroom."  A wine rack was reported to
> have been tipped
> over in the mayhem, spilling approximately 20 bottles
> onto the floor. 
> Mr. Bigelow said he then opened a window to let the
> creatures escape.  He
> later called police.  "At first, the authorities didn't
> believe me, but
> when I showed them the monkey stains on the seat of my
> pajama bottom and
> the wine bottles on the floor, the cops started to treat
> me with the
> respect and dignity that I deserved."
> When asked about the incident, police had no comment.  A
> police spokesman
> appeared good natured and he silently smiled to reporters
> as he entered
> the precinct headquarters.
> Bigelow said that he had stayed up late the night before
> the incident. 
> "I was reading the latest paper by Alan Feduccia, and I
> wanted to finish
> it before I went to sleep."  He said he didn't notice
> anything unusual as
> he drifted off.
> "Who knew that flying monkeys existed?  Not me", Bigelow
> mused to
> reporters.  "I can only surmise that they weren't in my
> PJs when I went
> to bed last night.  Perhaps they flew out of my @ss while
> I slept."
> Renowned ornithologist Alan Feduccia expressed support
> for the claims and
> added, "The recent discovery of monkeys that fly out of
> people's rear
> ends is the nail in the coffin for the Birds Are
> Dinosaurs theory",
> Feduccia said.  "The evolution of powered flight was
> complex and
> multi-threaded.  The discovery of flying Butt Monkeys has
> just moved the
> stakes in this scientific debate to a new level."
> <pb>
> --

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