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Dinosaurs continue to terrorize us
Parrot Squawks about Woman's Secret Affair
By Sarah Lyall
The New York Times
Jan. 18, 2006
LONDON - "Hiya, Gary!", the parrot trilled flirtatiously whenever Chris
Taylor's girlfriend answer her cell phone.
But Taylor, the owner of the parrot, did not know anyone named Gary. And
his girlfriend, Suzy Collins, who had moved into his apartment a year
earlier, swore that she didn't, either. She stuck to her story even
after the parrot, Ziggy, began making lovey-dovey, smooching noises when
it heard the name Gary on the television.
And so it went until the day just before Christmas when as Taylor and
Collins smuggled on the sofa, Ziggy blurted out, "I love you, Gary", his
voice a dead ringer for Collins'.
"It sent a chill down my spine," Taylor, a 30-year-old computer
programmer from Leeds, told reporters on Monday. "I started laughing,
but when I look at Suzy I could tell something was up. Her face was like
beer root, [ !! <pb>], and she started to cry."
Gary, it turned out, was Collins' former colleague and current secret
lover. And not only had Collins, a 25-year-old call center worker, been
cheating on Taylor, but she had been doing it in front of the bird.
"It makes my stomach churn to think about what he might have seen or
heard them doing", Taylor said of Ziggy, as reported in the Daily
When it became clear that Ziggy could not be taught to stop saying
"Gary", Taylor found a new home for the bird.
"Parrots piss me off!" - Eric Cartman (South Park)